The not so daredevil exploits of Jolene Foong

I bought a “Celebrity’s Choice: Inchloss Shower Scrub” (I can’t remember the exact name) for $7.90 – avaliable at Watsons and Guardian today. The product, claimed to lose well, inches. (half an inch more like)

I would have to hide this, if not if my mom sees she will start nagging at me again.

It claimed that the warm, tingling sensation I would be expriencing was the product working to reduce the appearance of fat and cellulite, and use a cloth to wipe off the scrub to avoid sensitive areas such as the genital, armpits, and breasts. So I tired.

I rubbed the pink goo onto my thighs. Holy Mama, it pricks! Walking around made it worse. I proceeded to apply the rest on my tummy and my arms. Nothing was happening on my arms and tummy. Perhaps I was beyond gone case. Suddenly my crotch started prickling like mad. HOLY COW, it stung! Apparently my body was too wet and the product trickled down.  Well, lesson learnt,  I will never apply slimming products on my upper body again. I swear I’m going to use it on my legs only.

But as an advertisement, the scent is quite funky and lasts for quite a while. And it’s a scrub so you can massage your legs too! Skin does look firmer, cellulite between thighs  seems to have faded a bit.

the persuader, finally meets a challenger.

Chingen is a dear friend who left for overseas to study. Fortunately, he’s coming back on the 15th. Unfortunately, he’s absolutely been refusing to tell me when he would be arriving in singapore.

JOJO says:

):

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, delicious cake says:

: (

JOJO says:

hey.

JOJO says:

where’s you now?

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, delicious cake says:

canary islands

JOJO says:

srsly?

JOJO says:

where’s that?

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, delicious cake says:

yah srsly

JOJO says:

hawaii?

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, delicious cake says:

off the coast of spain

JOJO says:

uhh.

JOJO says:

where’s spain..

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, delicious cake says:

: O

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, delicious cake says:

next to France

JOJO says:

GAAAAAAAA

JOJO says:

are you in like sydney!?

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, del sent 12/3/2008 10:17 PM:

¿Que? ¿Sydney?

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, del sent 12/3/2008 10:17 PM:

¡Español!

JOJO says:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JOJO says:

NO SPAAAAAAAAIN

JOJO says:

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, delicious cake says:

¿Inglais, lo hablas?

Bioshock is made of win and excelsior. Also, delicious cake says:

Arrribaaa!

JOJO says:

ARRRRRRRRRRGH

I give up. srsly.

Band was short of a percussionist so Shamir had to multi-task with a cymbal and a shaker. Reaction to being filmed: Priceless. Miss Yip was glaring at him when that happened, ohnoes.

UNIFORM COLLECTION SPREE

Jojo is collecting uniforms from all around the world!

Has:

1. Thai uniform

2.  Queensway uniform (i mean, srsly?)

Wants:

1. 2 japanese uniforms (christmas presents-tick!)

2. British uniform

3. Korean uniform

can’t think of any countries whose schools have uniforms at the moment.

Back.

Hi, concerning my last post, in the end Krizzia told me some time later that it was actually her who texted Screwy. Annoying.

Anyway I’ve been very off for a long time cos exams were coming and GAAAAAA O LEVELS ARE NEXT YEAR!

Got back from bangkok, nothing much actually but I did buy a thai uniform yeah! (v) And now I’m purchasing two japanese uniforms from my cousin who’s currently teaching english to a junior high school in japan ;v;, im so proud of her. And I miss her too.

I will end rant, and start bitching. I should really stop this.

Screwy and I have just passed our one-year mark and we’re still going strong and happy :D but look what Ariyani messaged him just now:

Ak: I iwsh I could talk to you again & not like this.The thing is, I would want to apologise for all the things I’ve done to you all these while..It took me quite a while to ‘realize,what you had done for me,and the fact that I didn’t appreciate you much.I truly an very sorry & that I miss you very much.That is all.Thank you.

and to that message I’m very proud to say, he replied

Screwy: …right. After all you’ve done to jo, you still actually dare to tell me that you miss me. And it actually took so long to reliase what i’ve done for you. Actually, have fun missing me. I’m not going to change about how much i love jo. You screw around with jo, you’re screwing with me.

Don’t you feel the love blazing from him! LOL :D -happy-.How’s that song go again? Ran shao ba! ran shao ba!

-update- new text from ak.

Ak: My real reason of messaging you is not to pick a fight or change how you feel towards her.You love her,it’s clear.I just want to apologise for all the things I’ve done towards you.

Bullshit, Ariyani. You haven’t done anything to him that’s worth apologising SO MUCH for. Only to the GIRLS threatening your relationship with him. Why not you try saying sorry to every girl you’ve bitched about and not him? You’re just a despo freak that flirts with every single living thing on the planet. So disgusting. I hope you read this post. You’re not gaining sympathy from anyone. Irritating. By the way, Screwy can’t be bothered to waste any more of his time and money on scum like you. Useless piece of shit.

But you’re made my weekend a lot nicer (: I just loooove hurting you, biach/.

I would like to comment on an incident that happened just now.

Screwy: And some random person messaged me this… Hello. Canch beleave euu dunch noess.

Me: Text her back this: this is his girlfriend.get the fuck outta his sight, bitch.

This is what irks me the most. What has 10 over years of Singaporean education has taken place in the poor, bemuddled mind of this girl? I can feel all my 12, 13 years of education leaking out of my brains as I typed the above example. Cant’ you even spell ‘you’ properly? You. You. You.

Idiot.

Gosh, all the words were underlined for wrong spelling. Thank heavens phones don’t come with auto spell checks, if not dictionaries would never make into the market here.

If you think that way of typing was cute, omgwdf get outta THIS page’s site. Never come to spread your evil dumbness here man. Here’s my replies as I corresponded with Screwy.

“Who the fuck messaged you that.freaking whore.”

“What?i mean it sounded like some freaking despo whore.i hate people who type like that.just shows that they don’t know how to spell the simplest words and they’re dumb.i can go on one whole page long about these kind of brainless sluts.they think typing this way is cute.but it makes them look dumb.idiots.”

“Fucking bitch.tell her she sounds dumb.”

“Fucking bullshit.i’m a girl.tell her this ‘this is his girlfriend.stop messaging him your dumbness language.i don’t want his brain to rot and die.” [he didn't text her anymore in the end]

“I can tell she’s a bitch already.i can bitch too.if she wants to bitch i can bitch with her too.”

“Fine.freaking bitch.tell me if the cow textes you again.”

The whole cow language saga-end.

Thus ends the rant. I am deeply ashamed to admit that Singapore hosts such improper spelling mistakes. Even a 3 year old knows better. And national day just passed! *waves flag* I’m a deeply, patriotic Singaporean. In the eyes of the Japanese. *giggle*

Feel free to shiver/recoil in horror.

I lost my wallet this afternoon, so would you people be kindly enough to spread this? I’m really upset…my key is inside and I can’t go home without my key. So I would really appreciate it if anyone is in posession of my wallet return it to me. Eternally grateful too, if you would help forward this mail. I hope people check their inboxes.

Anyway, thank you for your time reading this, I’m really sorry to trouble you guys like that! ): If anything, contact me at 82886797. I won’t be at school from tomorrow until next week.

Wallet: Black guess wallet
Last seen: 4:15pm, wooden bench nearest to band room, by the D&T area.
Contains: At least $30, with my resident card, ezlink card and card key.

Thank you.
Jolene Foong (304)

The piano connection

I was washing an oil bottle in my kitchen when I, once again, heard the soft tinkling of piano keys being played upon. It was Beethoven this time. I never really noticed or tried to find out the pianist much. Probably from downstairs. I always admired that person for being able to produce such sweet music, whoever it was. I walked over to my windows and opened it to let the music in more. I was also being a pesky friend, so I looked in at Peter’s unit at the opposite side.

opposite units

His brother was playing the piano. I stood and stared for a while, until I finally realised the music was coming from his open balcony.

heavily edited. if you can make out a person at the piano...

Yes, it was him all right. So all the while I’ve been listening to Peter’s brother? Cool. Soon after that, his father stood beside him. They exchanged words (from what I could see) and his father helped flip the pages. I wanted to cry. What a perfect family. I wish my own father would stand beside me when I played the piano and comment on how I was improving. From what I could discern, the pianist was too tall to be his brother. Hmm. Peter himself on the piano.

I’ve been listening to that person for the longest time, when I get home from school and lie on the couch, on those Sunday afternoons..what a friendship cultivated through piano. I wonder if Peter’s aware. Hmm.

On a lighter note, something to scar you for life.

followed by this

I’m not too sure whether to start silting my wrists with my ruler or gain abs. But one thing for sure it is traumatising.

Absolutely outraged.

Upon reading the posts from

http://the-heyao.blogspot.com

I wondered if the world was so immune to homosexuality that the lesbian and gay culture was on the point of accepted. Sure, it’as been debated for a period of time, but what have we come to a settle on? Banish, accept? In Singapore, homosexuality is somewhat tolerated but Christianity does not.  Upon reading the posts, I immediately messaged Ta. It was until then i found out that she comp could not read chinese characters so I painstakingly translated the posts to her.

photo spam, ageinz?!

I decided to quit prefects.

Il Pardone 2

So thus was how I ate my dinner, without an Ounce of spice due to the huffy protestations from the cook. I looked across the dinner table and found Gith Observing the cook with moist & reddened eyes and a Discolouration on his cheek. At this point, my curiosity was aroused and I inquired about his well-being. Gith was spake when the cook interposed he hath pranced in the garden with ill-meaning indulgence and perhaps by accident, upset the spices. Redundant to any manner of recordance, my chuckles ceased when Ms Haltright spake to me, “Is this not a period of famine and drought when we are lounging in exquisite threads, dining on rich food, breathing cleansed air.”

With that reprimand, we Silenc’d.

Ex. 2 from Il Pardone